The ability to express ourselves and to be able to understand others affects every aspect of our lives from childhood to death. How we communicate and how well we communicate has a significant impact on our social life, our love life, and our professional life.

However, with a few notable exceptions – like public speakers and therapists – most of us spend very little time striving to deepen our understanding of communication or improve our communication skills. In professional development, building better communication skills is recognized as an essential key for further success. While any conversation or discourse can be incredibly nuanced and specific, it can be helpful to understand the following broad categories of communication.

Passive Communication

Passive communicators are typically much quieter and more reserved than their counterparts. These staff members are unlikely to openly speak their mind or ask questions, especially in group settings. If a group is asked for their opinion or where they would like to get lunch from, this individual is usually fine with whatever everyone else decides. When they do voice their opinion, they are often soft-spoken or use as few words as necessary to convey their thoughts.

When dealing with a passive communicator, it is often best to approach them one-on-one in a private setting, ask them direct questions, and patiently allow them time to formulate their responses. Also consider that these individuals may communicate better through written messages as opposed to verbal discussions.

Aggressive Communication

On the far opposite end of the spectrum, aggressive communicators frequently express their thoughts and tend to dominate conversations. While aggressive communication can be very obvious in the form of abusive language or threats, it can often be displayed through more subtle cues as well.

Interrupting others, maintaining intense eye contact, or using domineering body posture are other ways these individuals may attempt to intimidate those around them. While they may appear to be strong leaders, their arrogance and bullying tactics can be costly to the organization as it drives away other talent. It is important when faced with this communication style to remain calm and professional, focus on actionable items, and keep the conversation from veering into unrelated issues that may be more emotionally charged.

Passive-Aggressive Communication

If your workplace has a known “office gossip”, you have met a passive-aggressive communicator. These individuals are often afraid to express their opinions or feel they cannot do so openly due to their workplace’s social dynamic.

However, unlike passive communicators, these individuals will use other tactics in an attempt to undermine or harm their counterparts. Signs of this communication style include muttering, using sarcasm, stubbornly ignoring instructions or workplace changes, engaging in gossip, having a generally negative attitude, and being a tattletale.

When interacting with these staff members it is important to refuse to participate in spreading rumors or backbiting, set healthy boundaries, reframe issues in a more optimistic way, and be a role model of positive, ethical behavior.

Assertive Communication

Assertive communication, where one advocates for themselves without denigrating or undercutting others, is the gold standard we should all strive for. The assertive communicator is comfortable expressing their thoughts and concerns, and will frequently use “I” statements during discussions.

Other signs of this style include friendly eye contact, good posture, a clear voice, and an openness toward collaboration. To be a more assertive communicator, one can practice active listening, improve their emotional intelligence, actively seek constructive feedback, and attend professional development courses to build their communication skills.

Askers vs. Guessers

While a relatively new concept, appreciating the distinction between “ask culture” and “guess culture” can be very helpful in understanding others. An Asker is never afraid to make a request because they understand the answer may be “no” and they are comfortable being told so, at least having tried.

A Guesser, however, will not make a request unless they are fairly certain the response will be affirmative in their favor.

For these reasons, “ask culture” is considered more direct, while “guess culture” is considered more polite. This concept has been expanded on greatly since its first appearance in 2007 and can be really eye-opening in certain situations.

Conclusion

Communication is pivotal to everything we do in life. Successful professionals will actively seek out opportunities to hone their communication skills as it can enhance both their personal and professional relationships. While completing a leadership program is a fantastic way to build communication skills, this option may not be easily accessible to everyone.

Thankfully, many other, highly convenient options also exist. Both Indeed.com, in its Career Guide section, and LinkedIn with its multitude of training videos, offer great resources for those interested in stretching their communication muscles.